What's wrong with a flip-floppity dovish senator that knows some foreign policy?

 That Commie Pinko, Hanoi John, Worthless Expletive, Jane Fonda wannabe, five-term Senator foreign policy buff John Kerry, as Secretary of State? Where’s that petition to renounce my citizenship?

Wait. Wait, wait, and wait. It has been said that John Kerry never took a firm stand on any major issues, flip-flopping, as it were, on Iraq, expressing that it was correct for us to disarm Saddam Hussein, but that it was the “wrong war, wrong place, wrong time.” Kerry also is more dove than hawk, voted against the Gulf War, and voted not to fund the war in Iraq. I am under no delusions that Kerry or anyone currently in politics on any major playing field is actually and truly anti-war and committed to acting on any such principles. However, when someone flip-flops on issues, it doesn’t always mean they’re a fake s.o.b.

 It can also mean that they have deep and potentially internally fractious thoughts on foreign policy and matters of state, and yes, folks, it is entirely possible to believe that Hussein shouldn’t have been in power, but that everything we did to amend that was completely and utterly wrong.

If I think that my brother needs to get an education, but that to give him money means he only spends it on booze and hookers, I would say, “no, let’s not pay for his college and give him money.” You could take anything I said on the whole thing, though, and call me a flip-flopper. Essentially, the United States took what was, theoretically, a good idea, but in reality blew through Daddy Warbuck’s money (read, tax dollars from United States citizens) on booze and hookers on a ridiculous private contractor’s version of Fear and Loathing in the ‘War on Terror’.

And we blame Kerry for voting not to fund the horse races?

Kerry has chaired the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for four years and in that capacity made many trips to Afghanistan and Pakistan. It’s not like, in the case of many other Bush-era appointments, Obama simply called up a college chum and asked if he would like a swank new office. No, no, no folks: commie pinko, Hanoi John, is not single-mindedly devoted to war and has been doing this job already for the last 1/5th of his 20 years in the senate.

I’m not a John Kerry fan. I’m not fan of politicians. I’m a fan of intelligent and rational thought, and an end to mindless war mongering. Let’s get some coherent, dovish flip-floppers in the President’s cabinet.