Once I was blind but now I can see. I don’t really know who said that but I feel that’s not important, because I see it within myself. I was a paratrooper the 82nd Airborne Division. I did not see the connection I had with all life on the planet. My heart could not see the humanity in the people I called enemy. I was blind. I had to walk through the fire to burn all the crap that was imprisoning my heart and mind. So I don’t regret my time in Iraq. Granted, what I did there was wrong. It was the people there in Iraq that showed me that they are us. Even then I was not fully awake. I still thought there is a threat that needs to be terminated. I planned to sharpen my sword by changing my maroon beret for a green one. Call it luck or destiny, I don’t care. I am grateful that did not happen. My sword would eventually become a plowshare. People are beautiful and I met one who knew it within herself. My Kissalini. I was unprepared to encounter a healthy relationship. I was scared shitless to open my heart to see the world as it is along with myself. I as trained to ignore my feelings and thoughts to act without hesitation. I learned that ignoring that part of myself, as was taught in the army, put me in a place where nothing grew, a death of the soul. If I was to save myself, I had to find out who I was. And the only person to ask was I. Only I had the knowledge to ask how I felt. Whether the answers were sweet or sour, they were the best I could get. Then I felt the pain of the Iraqis. I had to question my involvement and contribution to that pain. I felt I had to remove myself , so I applied for Conscientious Objector and consequently was released as a CO. I was just beginning to open my eyes. When I came home I found another war. The one that resides in my Soul was the unexpected war to come. Jesus said,” Whoever searches must continue to search until they find. When they find they will be disturbed and being disturbed they will marvel and reign over all”. What did I feel and think on how I lied to my love. When I could have shown my true self I chose to lie because I was scared. Would she really love me if she really knew who I was? At war with myself I gathered the courage I learned from jumping out of a C-130 at night with hundreds of my Brothers, to express what I really felt to be my truth. I found safety in opening up and she continued to love me because she knew who she was loving. My eyes are now open. Now I am no longer afraid of war because I won the most important one. The war over the Soul were my fears and ego once ruled now is replaced by my Love and Compassion.Not to say that my fears and ego are no longer there, I just don’t feed those dogs anymore. Love and Compassion is the true strength of my Soul. My feelings and thoughts are now reflecting each other. They build my intellect to where I am able to reason with others. I put down my rifle so that I can use my words. The word is so powerful, whether it’s a lie or a truth, it does not matter. I have found my own. The war is over for me now. Peace is now conflict without violence and I live that everyday. Not always easy, but whoever said it was going to be easy needs to open their eyes. Whoever says there is an enemy needs to open their heart, for they are blind and cannot see. All you have to do is shine your open heart. Isaiah 12:2 “I will trust and not be afaid”. Show them another way with patience. War is wrong, we all know this somewhere in our Soul. We shouldn’t harm others as well as ourselves. Recognize the pattern and shift in another direction. It’s a choice, that’s all. Once I was blind but now I can see. This from a Human Being for all. A SoulJah for Life.